she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
