Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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