i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
