I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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