when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
