found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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