Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
