life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
