ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
