I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
