Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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