i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
