it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
