I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
