16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
