Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
