I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Holy shit dude........stairs
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
