He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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