My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
