WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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