and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
