hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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