Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
either way he was missing a nipple.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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