What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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