girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
