Don't you send me to vm
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
