Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
