I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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