it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
