Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
