they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I skipped work to stalk him.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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