I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's shark week go big or go home
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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