Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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