Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The air was thick with penises
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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