just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
