he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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