I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
