Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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