Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
