im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize