sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize