so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize