I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
