these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
