Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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