i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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