Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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