Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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