Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
