he wants to bone in the snuggie
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
