im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
