once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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