we're blogging at a bar
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
