You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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