Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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