Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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