Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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