I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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