Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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