Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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