he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
