what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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