bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
