It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
