It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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