Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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