New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
